Picard, Single Parents and the Lessons I Learned from Sir Patrick Stewart
When I was little, I used to “watch” Star Trek: The Next Generation with my mom. And when I say watch, I mean it the way a little kid watches TV: in about five to ten minute chunks when things got interesting or someone was doing something unusual. I wouldn’t say I loved Star Trek the way I do now back then - I think I mostly tolerated it to “was mildly amused” by it from time to time.
But I do remember that I wanted Jean Luc Picard to marry my mom. (Remember, I was little.) My mom was widowed, and as a single mom, had to do all the career woman things while she also did the mom things. And she did, brilliantly. Even when we didn’t have a lot, it felt like enough. But I always wanted her to marry someone cool who could help her. And I guess, for context, I saw a lot of my mom in Beverly Crusher.
She was someone who’d lost a lot and had a lot on her plate, but was super capable, organized and important on the Enterprise. She was strict but fun, and, I even saw a lot of myself in Wesley Crusher.
Jean Luc Picard, in my mind, was the perfect match for my mom because of how calm, smart, and refined he was. At the time I didn’t necessarily have the words for it. But he was decisive, and passionate, and seemed unafraid. He was someone to look up to. And someone who could confidently lead a starship and a little family all at once.
Little flickers of TNG stayed with me until I really dove into TNG and the rest of Star Trek with my husband. Now, I could tell you minute details of every series in the franchise, and our entire living room is festooned with Trek memorabilia. We even have a horga’hn.
I guess I didn’t know too much about Patrick Stewart then, but I do now. I think I first came to admire his gravitas, and his Shakespearean knowledge. I thought it befit a captain of a starship to be played by someone who took things very, very seriously.
And then I saw some blooper reels. Patrick Stewart wearing an impish grin, laughing at Frakes when he messed up his lines. Yelling “SHIT!” when he forgot his own, and laughing beside Gates McFadden. Scolding Michael Dorn for not moving on cue.
I saw his performances in episodes like Inner Light, Darmok, and Measure of a Man, where he eloquently argued for Data to have human rights. Fiery passion, with grace and honor.
And then I saw him talk about domestic violence. I saw him speak up for survivors, and talk about his struggles with his relationship with his father, and the then nameless disease he came back from the war with that takes so many lives and rips apart so many families - PTSD. I saw him advocate for mental health. I watched him live out allyship in his relationships. Fight for pit bulls and love on them himself, with his own named Number One even starring in Picard.
I saw the weight of his friendships with the cast, that brought them back for that wonderful final season of Picard, where we got to finally see our old friends again, back at the poker table, and back at the bar having some drinks having survived yet another life or death adventure, one last time.
During the pandemic, I listened to that commanding yet gentle voice read a daily sonnet to quiet the fear clutching at the back of all our throats in lockdown.
I listened to his audiobook when it came out, and saw his vulnerability as he admitted his past mistakes and what he’d learned from them. I saw him dress like a lobster and pal around with Ian McKellen.
And while I’ve attended more than a few Star Trek conventions at this point (and conventions where tons of Trek stars have appeared) if I have one regret it’s that I didn’t get to meet the man in person. To thank him, for being so many things in his lifetime to look up to.
Even if he never did marry my mom.
“Seize the time. Live now. Make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again.” - Jean Luc Picard. “Inner Light”
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