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Last time, on Agatha All Along...Teen killed absolutely everyone. Seems like time for a flashback. And if Teen's your favorite character in the show like he is ours, you're getting your wish for the focus to just be on him for a little while. In what's a really cool transition, you go from Teen wearing his blue Maximoff crown as Wiccan to a blue kippah. Hebrew recitations are heard in the background, and formal preparations are being made. We're at Teen's bar mitzvah, with his parents. If this doesn't seem correct, it isn't. After all, Wanda's not really into anything but witchcraft, and she didn't marry a kindly looking blond bearded guy. The name on the Bat Mitzvah program says William Kaplan. What's at play here? Teen goes through the motions of the bat mitzvah and heads into the party portion of the evening carefree and looking quite at home. He walks into a tarot reading booth (which seems just a bit odd at this type of occasion) and it's Lillia. She's there to make a few bucks telling the kids they'll live long and prosper, basically. But when she takes Teen/William's hand, something is different. Her face grows concerned, the lights flicker. His life line is broken into two parts. She knows it's bad news, but she masks it as a time of life changes, a 'new you'. This isn't a party trick anymore. She pulls one tarot card, the Tower Reversed, before she flashes with recognition. 'I think I remember something.' Teen's not having fun anymore, and Lillia issues a rather ominous warning to enjoy the now. As soon as he leaves the tent, she takes a wood piece and scrawls...the sigil. She places it in the jacket Teen left behind and hands it to someone else, having completely forgotten everything that happened. Just as soon as that happens, someone comes over the loudspeaker to announce that everyone needs to evacuate, as everyone gets emergency alert texts on their phones that say they need to evacuate and return home. Teen's 'parents' race home with him, as Teen actually locates the sigil. Looking back they can see the red light of Wanda's Eastview destruction - and while they're looking at that, his mom narrowly misses hitting another car, and they careen down a hill, hitting a tree, which directly impacts Teen's seat. His mom and dad wake up frantic to get help, and from all sides it looks like that's it for him. Then, a snippet of Wanda's voice saying goodnight to her sons, and something enters him, reviving him. Help arrives soon after and Teen's brought to the hospital. Doctors say there's nothing wrong physically, but refer them to a psychologist. It's the old amnesia trope, this time with a body swap. Shortly after he's awake he finds he can read thoughts, and that he's going home. That goes as you'd expect, everyone strong emotions and Teen confused about literally everything. Even the dog knows something's up. Life's well and truly ruined. Cut to three years later, and Teen's on a date with what seems like a pretty long term boyfriend. Teen hears him thinking he's going to say "I love you" and interrupts their kiss. He doesn't want to have any secrets, and he tells his boyfriend, Eddie that he can hear people's thoughts, if they're people he really cares about and the emotions are intense, and starts to relay the details of the car accident, including his death, and how he came back different. Eddie takes it remarkably well, and now with his secret out, he's free to tell Eddie that he loves him too. It's a tender moment in an otherwise dark episode. It's not like Eddie doesn't have questions though, and he gets to the main one right away. "If you're not William Kaplan, who are you?" Cut to all William's musical posters gone and a large amount of research all over those walls instead. We see a brief youtube ad featuring Jen hawking her skin products, and then a YouTube video about the red bubble, or the anomaly. He recognizes it's a spell, but no one will talk about what happened that day, likely due to the intense amount of PTSD something like that would cause. Eventually though, through the power of the internet, they find someone who's willing to talk - Randall. (Quicksilver, as you know) Randall describes what it was like living in the world of Wandavision, basically. The citizens of Eastview, being able to perceive themselves, but not control anything they said or did. Knowing who they were but not being able to cry out for help or live out their own lives, just watching themselves like they were on TV but in their head, as he points out. It's a perfect illustration of the intense amount of trauma Wanda caused for everyone else who participated in her world. I appreciate this because often Wanda's played as a tragic hero of a sort, but inflicting pain on people because of your trauma just isn't okay, even though it's hard not to do if you're suffering a great loss. It's here in the show that I want to stop and say I think Agatha All Along may have made some mistakes. Randall's got a funny screen name and a funny trench coat and a funny hat, and he wants to meet all clandestine in a parking garage. It's very cartoony and very much seems like it's played for laughs. To be fair, he has been stuck in a television show life playing different versions of the same person across genres and eras, so maybe that's just another pond ripple, but to me, it seemed like after they pointed out how traumatizing the experience would be, they made light of it by treating his character as ridiculous instead of being empathetic through the lens. Teen and Eddie manage to show off that Gen Z "rizz" and actually treat him like a human being and with kindness even if they are a little freaked out, but it still really blows a hole in something that should've been said about Wandavision originally. As sympathetic as she may be, Wanda was still the villain, ruining an entire town's lives to serve her purposes, however noble she thought they were. But it's not all Wanda. Agatha stole his house, made him pretend to be her husband, and used him like a puppet. During this incredibly valid list of horrible things that were done to him, Eddie mentions that he was a bad influence on Wanda and Vision's kids, and Teen finally gets some information that will help him figure out who he is, as Eddie reveals, to Teen's surprise, that they did have kids -- twin boys. One was a "speedster" and the other could read minds. Tommy and Billy. Suddenly, we know who he is, and so does he. Back at home, he pieces it all together, while listening to Linda Wu's version of The Witches' Road and contemplating the sigil. When all signs point to Agatha, he does what any of us from the Plissken faction on would do, and Googles her. And there she is, in the background of tragedies and great moments in history alike. When he finally gets to the brujapedia part of the internet, he gets the really juicy bits - Agatha was the only known survivor of The Road. And off we go, away from Westview, to find Agatha. With GPS and some mild Google skills, it's a short trip. He's got his spellbook, he's got someone on his side, and he's going to get answers. Upon arrival, we find out this is Agatha when she's playing true crime detective, and the familiar scene from before plays out again, only this time with it making a whole lot more sense. After the insanely amusing antics of detective Harkness, Teen releases the spell, and Agatha comes to, realizing nothing she was doing is real. She throws him in the basement for awhile, and after some more ridiculousness that Hahn plays pitch perfect, they get to the point. Teen, aka William, aka Billy, wants to get to the Witches' Road. He says it's because he wants power. Agatha asks who he is, and though he says William Kaplan at first, he then relents, and reveals his true identity. He is Billy Maximoff. Time to head back to the future. Agatha crawls out of the sucking mud and almost immediately she's back on her bullshit. Back at the scene of the crime, Billy's crushed the sigil and stood contemplating his powers. When the two meet, Agatha and Teen clear the air. He doesn't need power, and it doesn't interest him, but what he does want is to find his family. Meanwhile, Agatha's delighted at the prospect of someone so powerful and in what he's done, which only serves to disgust Teen more. Agatha is pure Agatha here - making light of her coven's deaths, Teen's trauma, and basically everyone else's suffering because all she's interested in is herself and the power that she can get if she makes it through the trials and to the end of the Road. There's plenty of horrible, irredeemable characters in shows, especially of late, but the line between love to hate and just pure hatred is a fine one. Kathryn Hahn manages to ride the knife's edge between completely unlikeable and sympathetic and add a comic flair that could only come from her. This time though, she's trying to convince Teen to overlook what she is and help her get what she wants. Teen/Billy knows that he's insanely powerful on his own, and tries to shake her off by saying he doesn't need her, and that's where Agatha gets her hooks in, pointing out that he doesn't know how to control his power, and that given that he killed the rest of the coven, he's just like her. She beckons him down the road with "Last one there is a nice person" and off they go. This road's had plenty of twists and turns but perhaps nothing quite like this. See you next time.

This year we’re putting together a list of 31 Retro Horror games. Games that have come from dead console generations, back to haunt us. Sadly, not all of these games will be available for you to play due to the complicated nature of video game preservation. However, we’re going to note if it’s possible to play them on modern hardware. We’re going to be covering games from the Seventh Generation (PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Wii) and earlier. So basically anything before 2006. Day 15 Alien: Isolation  The game starts with you playing as Amanda Ripley, daughter of Ellen Ripley from the films. Amanda has signed up on a mission in search of her mothers distress beacon, and to discover the mysterious circumstances surrounding her mothers disappearance. This journey takes her crashing into the Sevastopol, a derelict space station that is currently in the stage of revolt, chaos and an infestation of some sort of vicious alien being known as the Xenomorph.  It’s from here that you are thrust into a terrifying adventure of trying to get the information you want, while also being hunted by the deadly alien, as well as the rioters and a synth android uprising. The game revolves around a lot of sneaking and hiding with being caught leading to almost certain death. There’s a perfect level of tension surrounding the hiding mechanics because safety is never truly guaranteed, and every moment is punctuated by a completely dynamic orchestrated soundtrack that knows exactly when to ratchet up the tension.  On top of the orchestrated soundtrack and chilling hiding mechanics, I also would like to emphasize the Alien Xenomorph itself. It’s a trained hunter and killer that stalks you as its prey throughout large portions of the story, but on a technical level, its AI is something worth discussing. The Xenomorph operates in two different ways: the menace gauge, which is a meter on the back end that measures how often it appears, and will gauge, based on your actions, when is the perfect time to appear and scare you. This works to keep you guessing as you never know when the alien will appear to stop you in your tracks. 2:  The alien’s AI, which is a series of directives. Specifically, imagine a spider web, starting out with only 3-4 nodes, but branching outward into multiple other nodes. This is the learning process of the alien, so if you are constantly hiding in lockers, it will begin to start looking in lockers. It’s ever learning and also works as a real entity in game, so it is always somewhere on the map waiting to start hunting you. But it’s fair and doesn’t cheat, which makes for the feel of an actual animal learning your moves. It’s haunting.  The Alien: Isolation story takes you all over the space station and at some points outside of it. It’s equally fast paced and intensely slow. It works in waves to show you how fast things can spin out of control when it comes to the Sevastopol. The game even goes as far as letting you relive some of the key moments of the original movie, in a fantastic homage that feels right out of the film. The developers were given tons of data as far as reference material from the films, so they had a lot to work with when trying to make this game as accurate and closely tied to the film franchise as they could. To me it’s a triumph and still to this day still manages to shock and awe me while feeling totally in line with what I would see in theaters. I usually go back to re-watch Alien yearly, but this felt close enough to that, that I felt happy with this being my spooky season Alien inclusion. I would recommend our audience check this out if they want more of that world because the developers at Creative Assembly did a phenomenal job with it, and will be doing it again in a sequel in the near future.

If you've been following our adventures into "iconic American junk/snack food collabs" lately you know we've taken the dive into the Coke and Oreo combo. In Part I, we, or I, since everyone else at Culture Combine apparently disagrees, found ourselves mightily displeased with Coke flavored Oreos, from the sickeningly sweet Coke syrup they injected into my precious Oreo chocolate to the adulteration of the "Stuf" with popping candy, and a weird aftertaste to boot. So by the time I actually got a chance to snap up a few Oreo flavored Coke Zero Sugars, I was less than enthused to crack them open. I assumed the two just somehow didn't actually blend as well as I'd thought they would given my recollection of eating Oreos and washing it down with a Coke in my childhood. Well, I'm batting a thousand, because, even though I'm more a Diet Coke stan than a Coke Zero Sugar stan, turns out, Oreo flavored Coke Zero Sugar was NOT a miss for me. I'm going to point out again that I'm a traditionalist when it comes to things like the literal number one cookie in the entire world, and well, Coca Cola, which has more or less dominated the entire planet for as long as I can remember. So I'm a hard sell on weird-ass flavor trips for novelty's sake, though I'm trying to live a little more and just bite the bullet. Or the cookie. For better or worse. Expecting the worst, I took a sniff of the Oreo flavored Coke Zero Sugar. Not bad. Not offensive in any way, really, though it didn't immediately give me Oreo vibes either, the way that the Coke flavored Oreos bludgeoned you with the classic Coke syrup smell. I wondered if it'd taste like anything at all. And it does, actually. Oreo flavored Coke Zero Sugar tastes pleasantly altered, with a sort of...creamy vanilla taste. In other words, if I had to describe it, I'd say it's Stuf forward. I didn't notice a lot of Oreo's iconic chocolate flavor. We had guests over when I tried this out, and all of us agreed that in the end, Oreo flavored Coke Zero Sugar turns out to taste a whole lot like Vanilla Coke. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it might not be exactly what they were going for. Still, all three of us finished our bottles, and I'd honestly grab another one. As someone who lacks a sweet tooth and often finds super sweet things rather unappealing, I even feel like the fact that so far, this collab's only featured Coke Zero Sugar (with rumored plans to release a Coca Cola OG version towards the holidays) works to its advantage, allowing the smooth vanilla to marry with a not-too-cloying Coke Zero Sugar to make a very...sedate but pleasant beverage. Again, I'm not sure if that's the idea, or what you're looking for in something like this, but I'd reach for it again. So, to round out our little Oreo/Coke adventure, here's the scores: My predictions were completely off, and I thought I'd hate the drink and love the cookie. Coke/Oreo is 50/50 with me, and here at Culture Combine as a whole, I'm in the minority for detesting the Coke Oreo. See what you think of this abomination/delight yourself and leave a note in the comments.

Admittedly, I'm the wrong person to take on "creative" flavored classics. While I love to experiment with new recipes and flavors, I maintain that some classics just shouldn't be tampered with. Even so, I had a little bit of a good feeling when I first saw the announcement for Coke flavored Oreos and their counterpart, Oreo flavored Coke. In this case, it's two can't miss classics for me. Perhaps no other cookie is as iconic as an Oreo, and even though I'm of the "Pepsi Generation" I have to admit, Coca Cola is the first thing anyone thinks of when they think of soda (or pop, as it is correctly referred to here in Chicago where Culture Combine's crew calls home) Still, I grew up on hot dog stands and ice cream places serving things like Chocolate Pepsi, and with that iconic chocolate and vanilla creme combo I thought you couldn't miss. In the case of Coke Flavored Oreos though, I was dead wrong. I didn't know too much about the mysterious collaboration before I ran into it at the store. Nevertheless we snatched up a …carton (?) and took it home to sample. These Oreos look pretty cool, with a red "golden" Oreo cookie side and a Coke infused chocolate cookie on the other. Inside, the classic "stuf" has been replaced with "Coca-Cola inspired flavor creme" and popping candy. When you first open the pack, you'll quickly be met with the classic aroma of syrupy, delicious Coca-Cola. It smells almost identical to opening a can of the fizzy favorite. This gave me false hope as I bit into this weird collab, unfortunately. While you get a first rush of Coke flavor, the next minute it feels a little like an unholy mix of saccharine sweetness between the Oreo's classic (and perfect) balance of "just sweet enough" and Coca-Cola's "at the tipping point between too sweet and very sweet." That combination met with the unpleasant addition of crunchiness you'll get chowing down on popping candy begins the downward spiral. Popping candy was actually a favorite of mine growing up, and I often poured packets into my mouth and swished some soda around to really get the party going - but I never claimed it made either taste better. I get why they'd include it - so you get that iconic Coke fizz - but it is not a welcome addition to an Oreo, in my opinion. Secondly, while the aroma is spot on Coca-Cola and makes you excited for the flavor, the flavor turns out to be rather unpleasant. Oreo's chocolate is of a different variety than standard chocolate syrup or fudge that are used in things like Chocolate Pepsi, and Coke's borderline too -sweet main notes are discordant when paired with Oreo's balanced flavors. The final nail in the coffin for me is one I find a lot in these weird mashups - an odd aftertaste. While forcefully smelling of Coca-Cola, it doesn't really continue to have that classic taste, and instead just ends up tasting...confusing, if that's even a thing. I don't know how this didn't hit the mark, to be frank. Eating an Oreo and washing it down with Coke isn't bad, but somehow, infusing Oreos with Coke seems to be. That's alright, though, cuz there's always Oreo Flavored Coke to hang our hopes on...right?

Four player co-op horror games with proximity chat seem to be the newest phenomenon. It makes sense: these games tend to lead to hilarious chaotic situations. It doesn’t hurt that genuine scares help heighten the hilarity.  Terrorbytes is definitely following the first person four player co-op trend. And developer Treetop has seemed to run with the 80’s theme that has been so popular lately. In fact, even the Terrorbytes logo invokes a Stranger Things feel. Ironically, however, it’s pretty far from Stranger Things thematically. For one, Terrorbytes takes place in an arcade game. And you’re the “bad guys.” If you told me one day I’d be playing a game where we were the ghosts in a Pac-Man like game, I don’t think I’d really be surprised. It was a matter of time before someone took the maze chase and went full circle. After all, Terrorbytes  is the latest in a very long list of such games that has you both chase and be chased in mazes. I mean, Maze Chase was an entire genre back in the day. But Pac-Man didn’t have proximity chat shenanigans. Ever since I saw the video of someone in DayZ playing Tiny Tim over their proximity chat I realized how genius this feature was. Why should all video game communication be done through meta applications like Discord when routing your voice through your game’s character can lead to some funny–and some interestingly emergent situations? That’s what Terrorbytes is banking on.  I was able to play it with some friends. And while we didn’t get very far, fun was had as we were attempting to avoid Ms. Croak Man. And it turns out, there are a bunch of other horrible things that run around in  Terrorbytes’ mazes that can kill you with the push of a button. Ironically, as the ghosts, your job is to pick up pellets. Pellets are shared among the group– and doing actions like sprinting, buying items, or even closing the door to the exit room costs pellets. Nothing counts unless you can carry it out. Items like cherries or blueprints slow your character down, making them vulnerable to attacks, but net you points or give you access to valuable items. As we played, we noticed that it helps to have someone looking over the maze. This player assumes the role of the sort of “man in the chair” position that games like Lethal Company employ, and helps you make your way back to the safe room before you meet a terrible fate. Terrorbytes stands out. But at this point it’s more about what your flavor of funny will be, instead of games creating a framework of interesting and challenging gameplay. Maybe I just don’t get it. Get off my lawn.

This year we’re putting together a list of 31 Retro Horror games. Games that have come from dead console generations, back to haunt us. Sadly, not all of these games will be available for you to play due to the complicated nature of video game preservation. However, we’re going to note if it’s possible to play them on modern hardware. We’ll be covering games from the Seventh Generation (PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Wii) and earlier. So basically anything before 2006. Day 14 The Suffering The Suffering is a fantastic game that blends first person shooter that blends action with horror. You’re not exactly defenseless, but game protagonist Torque has to deal with a lot of issues. For one, he’s on death row. He’s been accused of murdering his family. The other issue Torque has to deal with? An infestation of creatures that are killing guards and inmates alike. While The Suffering wasn’t unique in many ways, it executed its action horror premise extremely well. The atmosphere was fantastic, the creature design would make Clive Barker salivate, and most importantly: it was fun to play. There was also a morality system that changed that game’s ending. The thing that stands out the most is perhaps the creature design. The monsters in The Suffering are based on methods.  The Suffering also has an insanity meter, but unlike other horror games, filling this meter enables Torque to turn into a literal monster. This bit of retro nostalgia comes with a sad story about its creators. Developer Surreal Software went on to release a sequel with The Suffering: Ties That Bind . These two games were the latest in a string of successes for the studio, but their parent company Midway Games was bought out by Warner Bros. Eventually, Surreal Games merged with Monolith Productions, making the real horror here the video game industry and its ability to devour itself. Unfortunately Ties That Bind was less well received and considered second rate compared to its predecessor. But we still have The Suffering and our memories. Unfortunately, if you want to play The Suffering today you’ll need access to retro hardware and an old copy of the game. It was available to download on myabandonware.com , but ironically it was taken down because it was reclaimed and put for sale on gog.com . Sadly, the store page for the game no longer exists.

This year we’re putting together a list of 31 Retro Horror games. Games that have come from dead console generations, back to haunt us. Sadly, not all of these games will be available for you to play due to the complicated nature of video game preservation. However, we’re going to note if it’s possible to play them on modern hardware. We'll be covering games from the Seventh Generation (PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Wii) and earlier. So basically anything before 2006. Day 13 Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest The Castlevania series is iconic. It sits up there with iconic series like Super Mario Bros , Halo , Pokemon , and a handful of others. It hasn’t had much in the terms of recent success, but the series has found new life in a couple of excellent Netflix series.  It’s hard to consider retro horror and not think about Castlevania . I can’t say that the games were meant to scare, necessarily–but they’re definitely gothic horror themed. You take on Dracula and an army of evil minions in the first game. And as the series goes on, the Belmonts clash with not only Dracula, but other horrors through the generations. And now that Castlevania is 38 years old the series has let more than a few generations take a stab at the famous Count. I think if I had to narrow down a single Castlevania game that caused the most fear–okay, mostly just stress– it was Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest . I know this might be a controversial choice, as out of the first four games, Simon’s Quest is the only game that deviates from the first game’s formula so drastically. It’s also a game that I grew up playing, and I spent countless hours exploring and trying to make sense of its cryptic (and apparently mistranslated) clues from the townspeople.  Time mattered in Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest . Any game that has an overarching time pressure immediately becomes stressful–I’m looking at you Dead Rising. But the only consequence of failure in Simon’s Quest is purely narrative, and only affects the story’s end. But that also means the game has a day/night cycle, famous for introducing gamers to the phrase “it’s a terrible night to have a curse.” To be fair, what night is good for a curse, exactly, though? Simon’s Quest also introduced RPG elements into Castlevania . And similarly to how Zelda II: Link’s Adventure alienated some fans for changing up the formula, Simon’s Quest had the same effect. The naming for this game is a little confusing, too, because the Game Boy also had another Castlevania II, this one subtitled Belmont’s Revenge . If you’re itching to play Simon’s Quest or any of the other Castlevania games, you’re in luck: The Castlevania Anniversary Collection and the Castlevania Dominus Collection have a wide range of hard to find retro Castlevania games with the former containing the first three games in the series. These two collections are available on modern consoles or Steam.

This year we’re putting together a list of 31 Retro Horror games. Games that have come from dead console generations, back to haunt us. Sadly, not all of these games will be available for you to play due to the complicated nature of video game preservation. However, we’re going to note if it’s possible to play them on modern hardware. We’re going to be covering games from the Seventh Generation (PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Wii) and earlier. So basically anything before 2006. Day 12 Nightmare Creatures Nightmare Creatures is a bit of an obscure title these days. Taking place in the early 1800s, in Nightmare Creatures , you take control of two distinct monster hunters as you do battle against (surprise) nightmarish creatures in London. Your goal is to put an end to Adam Crowley’s (based on real life Allister Crowley) devious machinations that have unleashed these monsters.  While it was pretty well reviewed on its release, Nightmare Creatures, as a series,   never lasted beyond a single sequel. And that’s too bad, because the closest I’ve seen a game come to Nightmare Creatures thematically and gameplay-wise is Bloodborne . I’m not saying that Nightmare Creatures is comparable to Fromsoftware’s ultra tight style combat–as Nightmare Creatures has very arcade brawler-y combat–but no game has quite the same combination of gaslight and night fright. Nightmare Creatures does have a few things that might make it annoying to modern audiences, and one of those things is its adrenaline system. If you spend too long between fights, your adrenaline can run down which makes you lose health rapidly until you die. It’s a bit of a bummer that mars an otherwise fantastic title–but with patience and gumption it’s something that can be overcome. In fact, I didn't even remember the adrenaline system until I did research for this article–and I know I played through Nightmare Creatures a few times. If you want a chance to try out Nightmare Creatures for yourself you’re going to have some trouble. Unless you have access to retro hardware, like an original PlayStation or Nintendo 64, there just isn’t a way to play this retro horror classic. That might be because, despite its success, Nightmare Creatures failed to launch into a franchise, and is currently destined to sit in old media limbo.

This year we’re putting together a list of 31 Retro Horror games. Games that have come from dead console generations, back to haunt us. Sadly, not all of these games will be available for you to play due to the complicated nature of video game preservation. However, we’re going to note if it’s possible to play them on modern hardware. We'll be covering games from the Seventh Generation (PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Wii) and earlier. So basically anything before 2006. Day 11 Doom 3 Okay, so this series ended up having a ton of id Software developed games. I’m obviously a fan–but id Software was on the cutting edge of graphics and gameplay for a significant chunk of my youth. And that was still true for Doom 3 . I vividly remember the first tech demo showing off the first look at the engine running Doom 3 , and realizing I would need a much better computer. The lighting and character animations looked even better than big budget computer animated TV shows from a decade earlier. It was truly groundbreaking stuff. And it was all going to be used in a game designed to scare the crap out of you. Doom 3 adopted a slower pace that is almost antithetical to what Doom stands for today. In fact, Doom 3 isn’t even considered canon while others like Doom 64  have a place in the story, but wasn’t considered a main line game by fans of the time. That makes Doom 3 a strange outlier in the Doom franchise. So you’re playing as a marine, but not the  Doomguy. That means you don’t casually run around at 30 mph while ripping and tearing. Instead, action is slower paced with jump scares aplenty, and enemies lurking in shadowy darkness. The original game even made it impossible to have your gun out at the same time as your flashlight, so you had to stay in the dark if you wanted to keep your defenses up. Mods, and later remasters of Doom 3 would change this–but those of us who were there originally remember. To this day I fondly remember Doom 3 . It was almost like a prototype to Dead Space . The atmosphere and deliberate slow pace really gave Doom 3 a sense of dread and horror that no other id Software game managed. Even while you’re mowing through hordes of demons, you still feel vulnerable–a far cry from the tanklike DoomSlayer. Doom 3 even did enemies well, though you never really encounter more than 2 or three at a time. But id Software did a good job utilizing the shadows the game’s engine was capable of producing to create some truly dreadful encounters. If you want to play Doom 3 today, it’s not as hard as other games on this list–in fact, it just barely makes the cut off to be considered a retro game based on the criteria at the start of this article. But even so, Bethesda has been really taking care of the Doom IP, and has released Doom 3 as the BFG Edition available on modern consoles.

I'll be the first to admit, I haven't been too keen on many of Tim Burton's recent outings. They've all felt a little bereft of the true Burton touch. That's not to say there haven't been one or two that I genuinely liked, but rather that they've felt Like Burton going through the typical dash of gothicness, monstrosity, or otherwise grossness. This can not really be said of Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (well, not entirely, I mean). Beetlejuice Beetlejuice picks up decades after the first. Lydia Deetz (Winona Ryder) is a paranormal TV show host whose life seems to be in shambles: her daughter Astrid Deetz (Jenna Ortega) avoids her like the plague, her boyfriend (Justin Theroux) is the sleazeball TV producer of her show, her mother Delia Deetz (Catherine O'Hara) has somehow found success as an artist (ignoring her past failures), and her father is killed off early in the film (due to obvious real life crimes) which is what gets everyone back to the old Deetz house... Oh, and Lydia is having visions of Betelgeuse. Beyond that main thread, there's a myriad of subplots going on that are often left dangling, never explained, or just simply thrown aside. Like why is Betelguese showing up in Lydia's visions? Why is Betelguese's ex wife (Monica Bellucci) suddenly a character that is looking for him? Why is Astrid's storyline a weird rehash of the first film? Why are the Maitlands written off so haphazardly? Despite these usual narrative killers, the film somehow works. The entertainment factor supersedes all the warranted nitpicks. While it may seem weird to point out that this film looks, feels, and sounds exactly like a Tim Burton film, I assure you it's not. There are so many elements beyond the signatures of his that really imbue the film in his aura. The film's third act features an elongated dance sequence (described by the titular character as a dream sequence) to the tune of "MacArthur Park" sung by Richard Harris. In a world where song placements are often integral to a movie's money making plans, there's no way that anyone other than Burton would make a choice like that. Add on the two Soul Train references (that weren't short either), a black and white Italian language flashback, and a really fucking creepy baby Betelguese wreaking havoc a few times in the movie. There are however some concessions that have been made throughout. The certainly harder edge the original film had has been softened for the sequel. Beetlejuice's vulgar persona is not as upsetting this time around, with his taste for a younger bride ignored and sexual proclivities pushed even farther off-screen than before. Many of the just-under-the-surface ideas from the first are ret-conned out of existence, like suicides living out the afterlife as public servants and Lydia's mother is no longer dead (although this may be from the musical and never explicitly said in the original). The third act kinda falls apart and the film doesn't really have an ending, but once again, the charm and genuine fun vibes take precedent. While not an explicitly horrifying, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice is a great movie to add to your Halloween season! Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice is still in theaters and streaming now! I'd suggest seeing it on the big screen and supporting your local movieplex, but if staying home's your vibe, you have options!

This year we’re putting together a list of 31 Retro Horror games. Games that have come from dead console generations, back to haunt us. Sadly, not all of these games will be available for you to play due to the complicated nature of video game preservation. However, we’re going to note if it’s possible to play them on modern hardware. We’ll be covering games from the Seventh Generation (PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Wii) and earlier. So basically anything before 2006. Day 10 Ghosts ‘N Goblins Ghosts ‘N Goblins was one of those games that existed for as long as I can remember. There are two things I can remember for sure about it: Just hearing Ghosts ‘N Goblins or Ghouls ‘N Ghosts makes the level 1 and 2 theme play in my head.  The series has you play as the stalwart looking Sir Arthur. One hit breaks his armor and sees Arthur fighting in only his boxers, and the second hit turns him to bones. It was just another difficult arcade game (later ported to the Nintendo Entertainment System and more) that demanded more quarters for you to keep playing.  While Ghosts ‘N Goblins and its well-known sequel Ghouls ‘N Ghosts have persisted, it isn’t as popular these days, with Sir Arthur and his exploits relegated mostly to video game history. There was even a fantastic Capcom developed Ghosts ‘n Goblins Resurrection released in 2021 that had Arthur on another hard as hell quest to save his beloved, but beyond a few best of lists it mostly went unnoticed. If you want to play Ghosts ‘N Goblins or Super Ghouls ‘N Ghosts you can do so on the Nintendo Switch through its online service. Otherwise you’ll have to get a hold on an NES Classic Edition, or find an old cartridge and NES–or SNES when it comes to Super Ghouls ‘N Ghosts . They are arcade classics, so you might be able to find one of them at arcades that feature retro games. If you want to play a modern sequel, you can find Ghost ‘N Goblins Resurrection on Steam, Switch, PS4 and Xbox One.

Any time you open on a mangy fox, a single raven, a snake in the grass (literally) and a lone owl, you know there's gonna be trouble. Not to be outdone by last week's walk through the fire, episode 5 opens with a dire warning from Lillia as the coven once again regroups to journey forward. "They're coming." Who, exactly? Well, remember that bit about Agatha having murdered her entire coven in cold blood? Well, that's come back to haunt her. Quite literally. See, though Agatha's rather ruthless, she spared the children of the women in the coven. In doing so, she created what Rio refers to as a 'feral, hive-minded coven bent on revenge.' Uh oh. Even if the others think Rio's a "creepy lurker" and sniffing out some clues that she might be more than she seems, she's not wrong. The Salem Seven are out to get Agatha, and by extension her new coven, and it's not as though Agatha's famous for protecting anyone but herself. After all, she traded her son for the Darkhold. Allegedly. Even worse, since the Seven are on the trail, they'll have to take brooms. Teen suggests it, and everyone else is vehemently opposed. Why? Stereotyping, image of females as domestic, take your pick. But the Seven are surrounding them and the only way out is up (though, I'm not exactly sure why up works, since at least two of seven fly...) After some quibbling and drama about the making of the brooms, they're up up and away, and safe, at least for now. Or so they think, in a moment of brief levity before the Road takes them straight back down to Earth and luckily, heading straight for the house that contains the next trial. Unfortunately, that path also directly converges with one of the most terrifying of the Seven, a bee lady. Fantastic. They escape, rushing in the door to... a very '90s slumber party. Which it turns out, is host to Agatha's trial. There's a blood moon, and it's time to talk to the dead. This one's easier for everyone to figure out, and soon they're on their way to the answer - with a simple task. Use a Ouija board and listen to the spirits on the other side. Teen reads a list of rules for the group. Listening is key to the task, but the coven shows a remarkable inability to not talk over each other and to just listen, which Teen may have included in the existing rules, which also include not talking about death, curiously. But they figure it out, settle down and start to commune. Mrs. Hart is the first to arrive, and when Lillia loses her hold on the planchett, she in turn possesses Agatha. Or does she? As it turns out, Agatha's running a con again. Once the group's had time for their eye-rolling, they sit back down and get to work. So who is it really? As it turns out, it's Death. No surprise, this amuses the hell out of Rio. They ask what Death wants, and the answer is 'Punish Agatha.' This time we know Agatha's not in on it because she's just as terrified as the others as the lights start flickering and a horrible shrieking begins. After all the obnoxious shenanigans, the coven's all too eager to punish her, with everything from simply being tied up to actually slitting her throat. True to form, Teen's against it, urging the group to recall that there was unity, but he's quickly shot down. "Familiars don't get a vote." Before they go all vigilante justice on her, the trial takes over. Agatha appears on the ceiling in corpse form, sickly skin, black veins and all. She drops down and begins writhing inhumanly, but at least at first, nobody's buying it. Rio queries "Sweetheart, are you okay?" seemingly not even a little alarmed. Agatha lunges at Teen first, and Rio calls it like a soccer match while Agatha chokes out Jen. Meanwhile, Lillia hits the lights, stopping the attack in its tracks. And then? A ghost appears. Agatha's mother, Evanora Harkness of the Salemites, who it turns out had just been possessing her daughter. Mom's not happy the coven's banded together with Agatha. Meanwhile, and perhaps more importantly, Rio's not happy about the entire situation. "I hate ghosts" she complains. It becomes clear this trial is about punishing Agatha, and that it's to be at the hands of her mother, who wants to keep her captive for what seems like eternal torture, given that her mother thinks she was born evil and, ultimately, shouldn't have been born at all. The trial is to finish the Road without Agatha. Rio's adamantly against this, screaming at the ghost that she can't have her- but how will the trial be won? "Her mother can't have her." It's hard not to feel bad for her in this scene, at least until the moment she proves that Jen's right when she says "The only danger to us in this trial is Agatha Harkness." Agatha pleads to be saved, begging to not be left behind, as she's again being taken hold of by her mother. Alice uses her powers of protection to try to help, but just as soon as she does, Agatha's released from her mom's grip, and starts absorbing her powers, mercilessly, as Alice begins to wither away right in front of them. Everyone watches in horror, seemingly unable to do anything, until Nicholas Scratch reaches out from the Ouija, his voice pleading for his mama to stop. It's too late though, and Alice is nothing but a dried out corpse. "I didn't" she protests, but no one's having any of it. Teen is frantic, angry, and unwilling to let Alice go, begging the group to use the panacea. But it's too late. Agatha crawls away and retreats to the Road. Teen follows, in a rage. Agatha says she couldn't control it, but Teen is having none of it, and neither are Jen and Lilia. All the unity and togetherness seemingly means nothing, and he's absolutely rage-drunk. Of course Agatha only pokes the bear, taunting him by saying he's 'so much like your mother' and beckoning him as her pet. Teen's entire demeanor changes and a bright blue energy emanates from him as Jen and Lilia hold her back, but ultimately, the earth swallows them all. and all that's left is Teen himself, now wearing Wiccan's crown. Cue Billy Eilish. As per usual, we couldn't have remotely predicted the episode going like this. Not only is there more and more proof that our suspicions that Rio's death are accurate, it's also revealing that Teen is as central to the story as we suspected. More importantly though - everyone's dead, or at least looks to be. Where could this go from here? Unfortunately, it'll be another week til we see what's left.